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16th Mar 2019

Only 350 people signed up for Nigel Farage’s Brexit Betrayal March

Kyle Picknell

We regret to inform you that Nigel Farage will no longer be walking all the way from Sunderland to London on his weird Brexit march

Nigel Farage has let down the 350 people who signed up to his Brexit Betrayal March – a 200-mile walk from Sunderland to London – after admitting that he will now only be “walking some of it”.

It is unclear what the refund policy is on the £50 donations made.

Farage originally promised supporters of his ‘Leave Means Leave’ campaign that he would be walking the entire journey from the North East in a bid to “the political class” that voters will not put up with a delayed Brexit. He asked supports to pay a £50 fee to ‘sponsor a marcher’ or to join the march for two days or more and organisers say more than 350 people signed up.

So, what, 351 people? 352? If it was 10,000 people you wouldn’t say ‘More than 350 people signed up’ would you?

The walk appeared to begin today, although you can’t be sure as it also appears that nobody fucking turned up, and culminates in two weeks with a rally in Westminster. The “political class” – which Nigel Farage definitely, definitely, 100% isn’t a part of – must be shaking in their boots at the thought of his mighty protest army assembling on parliament.

This stunning political demonstration is being coordinated by activist Harry Todd, who, according to Sky News, has guaranteed that he would be walking every mile of the route, whilst also admitting that he hadn’t actually done any training for it.

Quite the metaphor for Brexit itself, isn’t it? Man promises to walk entire route from Sunderland to London despite being woefully underprepared and ill-equipped for it, realises by the time he gets to Darlington he has made a fatal error of judgement, goes down injured with a fake ankle sprain, is then airlifted to hospital, but runs away before the doctor sees his x-rays and just carries on with his life in the faint hope that everybody will forget he said he’d do the march and nobody mentions it again. Poetic.